Life would be so much easier if everyone would simply fall in step with what we want them to do, or think is best, or feel is right and timely. But we all know that’s not realistic. How we try to influence and encourage others to get on board matters. This is true whether it’s necessary to meet a clearly defined deadline that is not negotiable to be met, or a way of viewing circumstances, people and/or ourselves, imposing shame and blame is not the ideal way to accomplish it.
Over the last few days, I have heard essentially the same message coming from different voices, in very different circumstances, and related to very different things. The primary message is that if you are trying to encourage compliance or if you truly believe that some sort of injustice needs to be addressed, the way that we go about trying to influence others makes all the difference in the world.
First of all, when someone is not meeting our expectations, the first question we might need to ask ourselves is what might be going on in that person’s life that should be considered. Is this person dealing with personal, family or other relational issues? Are they relying on others who are making it difficult for them to accomplish the end result?
When we find ourselves faced with a different perspective when it comes to justice, equality or cultural competency issues, we must realize that are ALL on a continuum and we all have room to learn and grow in one area or another. We need to work on getting the log out of our own eye before trying to get the splinter out of the eye of another.
Shaming and blaming others in an attempt to get them to fall in line with our expectations is not helpful. Neither is shaming or blaming ourselves when we learn that we may not have measured up in a particular area or that we might actually be wrong or have more to learn in an area.
God gives us grace, abundantly and repeatedly, as we strive to be more like Jesus. Let us extend grace in that spirit to others and to ourselves.
Peace y’all,
To print or share this message, you are encouraged to use this pdf:
Claire – Shame and Blame is Not Productive
To read past editions – you are encouraged to follow this link:
https://capitaldistrictnc.org/claire-ificaton/
