If you ask any Christian, few (if any) would argue with the fact that we are called to love our neighbors. But, what that means varies greatly among us. The problem with the word “love” is that in our English language, it has all sorts of meanings. We use it to describe intense feelings of deep affection, a great interest in pleasure in something or someone, or a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone, among other things. We all bring our cultural, religious, political and philosophical views into the definition. For the point of this conversation, we will consider love as a virtue that represents human kindness, compassion, and affection, as “the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”.
In Roberta Bondi’s book To Pray & To Love: Conversations on Prayer with the Early Church she reminds us that “According to the monastics, learning the ways of love is a matter of unlearning deep patterns of domination and submission and passivity and violence that we, in our not-always-Christian culture, have come to believe are just the way things are or perhaps even the way God wants things to be. The Christian virtues the monastic teachers hold out to us stand in real opposition to competitiveness, rugged individualism, envy, the kind of pride that will not admit fault to another person, and the need to get even for injuries.”
Most of us are not automatically wired to exhibit the virtues that the monastics invite us to. Jesus and the early Christians showed us by example that all people are our neighbors and John Wesley is often quoted as saying “The World is My Parish”, where he preached and shared God’s love with all whom he encountered, with no boundaries.
Bondi reminds us “In order to grow in love, Christians must make choices about what kinds of patterns of love they want to grow into. According to the monastic teachers, wanting to love does not make us loving people.” If we submit ourselves to being shaped by our creator, God will gradually help us to grow in love for ourselves, our intimate friends, family and Christian communities, and ultimately all of God’s people.
Modern Christians can practice monastic virtues as we try to learn the ways to love including Prayer, Humility, Discernment, Consultation, Knowing ourselves to be sinners and Forgiveness. Bondi helps us explore the teachings of early monastic writers as a path for those who long for God and a desire to receive the grace and goodness of God so we can truly grow into loving our neighbors as God loves us. I am grateful for the timelessness of this wisdom passed down to us from the early monastics and for Roberta Bondi who helps us understand the relevance for us today.
Peace y’all,
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Claire – Growing into patterns of love
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https://capitaldistrictnc.org/claire-ificaton/
